Rectum? Damn Near Killed 'Em! Carry-On Hard-Shell Suitcase

Rectum? Damn Near Killed 'Em! The line every unit has heard at least once, in red 3-D letters over a black-and-white plaid, with a pin-up nurse in a white uniform and red-cross cap perched beside it, heels on, one eyebrow up. It covers the front shell of the case edge to edge, which means nobody at baggage claim mistakes it for theirs. For the ER crew, the GI and endoscopy team, and the friend who deserves the loudest bag in the terminal.

The Rectum? Damn Near Killed 'Em! Carry-On Hard-Shell Suitcase pairs a printed polycarbonate front with a black ABS back, four 360° double wheels, a telescoping handle and a built-in combination lock, in the 22-inch carry-on size.

• 100% polycarbonate front, black ABS back
• Carry-on size: 22″ × 14″ × 9″
• 4 double wheels with 360° swivel
• 2 inner pockets and cross straps
• Built-in combination lock